


Love Means Never Having to Say You're Hungry

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-25
Updated: 2005-08-25
Packaged: 2019-05-30 22:54:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15106493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Love means never having to say you're hungry.  Femslash. A sequel to Dancing.





	Love Means Never Having to Say You're Hungry

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

AUTHOR: Suki   
TITLE: Love Means Never Having to Say You're Hungry (follows Dancing)   
PAIRING: CJ/OFC, Ellie/OFC, Ellie/CJ(but not really)   
RATING: NC-17 for sexual situations and colorful language   
FEEDBACK: Love, love, love feedback. Constructive as well as what you may have liked is appreciated   
SPOILERS: None I can think of but let's say end of Season Two to be safe.   
DISCLAIMERS: For what it's worth....The West Wing and it's characters are the property of Aaron B. Sorkin, Warner Brothers, NBC et al. No copyright infringement for profit is intended. If you recognize them from TV, they are not mine. Everyone else, especially Kira, Sarah, and Britt are figments of my imagination and I am very possessive about them. Please do not use them without asking my permission.   
ARCHIVE: Please ask first. And, as always, this and my other pieces will be archived at http://www.ashesofoldlovers.net   
SERIES: Series as yet untitled. Previous Installments: Worlds Collide Dancing   
NOTES: For Artemis, for inspiration, laughter and support. And special thanks to Julian for unwittingly inspiring the title.   
TEASER: Love means never having to say you're hungry. 

********************************

**Love Means Never Having to Say You're Hungry by Suki**

"Josh, let me reiterate what I am sure Leo said. I don't care if he insults your mother *and* the Mets, you will smile, you will be nice and you will make sure he leaves this building thinking he has an ally in President Bartlet, understand?" CJ says harshly into the phone cradled against her ear. She looks up to see Carol standing in the doorway waiting for her as Josh whines on the other end of the phone. "Josh, I can't sit here all day listening to you whine. I have actual work to do, like a briefing in an hour. Just get it done or forget Leo, I am going to personally kick your ass."

CJ allows the phone to drop off her shoulder and catches it in her hand, noting Carol's smile. "What?"

"Can I watch when Josh screws this up and you kick his ass?" Carol asks with a smirk

"Sure, we'll sell tickets," CJ says grinning.

"Uh huh. There's a Dr. Kira Lloyd holding for you. Do you want me to..." Carol's words trail off into a knowing smile as CJ waves her off and moves toward her desk, her cheeks flushing under Carol's scrutiny. "Should I hold your calls?" Carol asks teasingly.

"Yeah, and get the door." CJ reaches for the phone and smiles as Carol closes her door. "Hello?"

"Hey, I'm not interrupting important state business, am I?" Kira asks, her voice warm and teasing over the line.

"No, I've got a few minutes between briefings," CJ says, smiling as she swivels in her chair to look out the window, thinking about Kira twirling her hair around her finger like she does when she's out of doctor mode.

"Have you talked to the kid?" Kira asks laughing.

"Yes, I talked to her late last night," CJ says biting her lip at Kira's concern over Ellie.

"How's she doing? I know you were worried about her."

"She's having a blast," CJ laughs. "Last night she went dancing with the crew, got kissed until she was weak-kneed, and made a new friend. She was positively giddy when I talked to her last night. She is like your biggest fan, by the way. Seriously, she can quote like half your work. When I was talking to her last week it was a little odd."

"Yeah, but while she may want to pick my brain, she wants to jump you bones," Kira laughs again.

"You know, a few weeks ago she thought she was going to come to your party, dangle her toes in the pool, look around and then spend a few more months thinking about it. She didn't expect to have a breakthrough on your sun porch, come out to a member of her father's staff and then kiss said member. I think she had a little moment, but then she and Sarah went shopping and she got a haircut, and when I talked to her last week she sounded pretty good. But last night," CJ says with a grin, looking out her window, "last night she sounded so great."

"I'm glad to hear it. And, as for her little breakthrough at my place, well, can you blame her, Star? You did look a little irresistible that night," Kira teases, and CJ smiles in her office at Kira's ability to make her temperature rise without saying anything of import.

"You were just feeling frisky, if it hadn't been me it would have been someone else," CJ says, waiting to here Kira's response with interest.

There is a pause on the other end and Kira's voice sounds changed when she responds. "If that's what you think than I guess this call is moot," she says, sounding hurt.

"Ace, I was teasing. Don't get upset," CJ says, swinging around and leaning on her desk, her hand in her hair. "I didn't mean it."

"I think some part if you did, and that's what hurts. I tell you I want us to get back together, that I have never stopped wanting to be with you, and you say you need to think about it and practically run out of my apartment. Then you insist we date like two people who haven't slept with each other off and on for years. I miss you," Kira says, her voice soft and missing all its usual self- assurance. "If you had gone home that night, or not come at all, I would have gone to bed alone, thinking about you."

"Kira, I'm sorry. I was trying to be funny because I didn't know how to--"

"God, no, I am sorry, CJ. I didn't mean to start anything while you were at work. I just wanted to hear your voice and...ok, I am going to hang up now. I'm sorry--"

"No, please don't. I feel awful and if you hang up I am going to--" CJ's words trail off as she hears the dial tone in her ear. "Shit," CJ says to herself, reaching for her planner and dialing the increasingly familiar number.

She closes her eyes as the machine picks up and waits for the tone, her head nodding along with Kira's businesslike voice. "Hi, it's me. Please, pick up...Ok, well, you hung up before I could say the really important part. I was deflecting with humor because I am scared to death...because waking up with you that morning was the most complete I have felt in such a long time. And being able to see you again, to hold your hand...I miss you, too. Please, if you are there, please pick up...I am so sorry, please, call me back." She sits there, staring at the phone, her head in her hands. Then with a grin she dials the same number again, turning in her chair to look outside. She closes her eyes as she hears the recorded voice, waiting. "Hi, it's me again. I forgot to say something when we had dinner the other night, or just before, and it's the really, really, important part, so, here goes...I love you. I thought you should know that. Well, I am late for a meeting now, but, well, I am going to be thinking about you. So call me, please?"

CJ struggles through her meeting with Leo and Josh, her mind devising a plan to make it up to Kira for being such an idiot. She was foolish to think they could date casually, that they could have dinner and hold hands and pretend that all this history didn't lay between them. She wasn't lying on the machine, waking up in Kira's bed had been the most complete she had felt, since, well, the last time she woke up with Kira. There was just something about sleeping, really sleeping, with someone who knew every inch of your body and could usually predict your moods and knew your tells. She does love her, has since the beginning. The question is, can she deal with the complications loving Kira Lloyd is going to toss into her well- ordered life? This is a woman who wants domesticity and hand-holding and soft goodbye kisses, no matter where they are. This is a woman who still bugs her about children and they aren't even officially dating, yet alone living together or committed. She should be committed, she thinks with a grin. This is a woman who knows exactly what she wants and rarely gives up until she gets it. This is a woman who could make CJ think about this job as insignificant. Can CJ give herself over to this completely? Give herself to Kira completely? Can she live with not?

"CJ, you with us?" Leo asks, staring at her.

"Sorry, Leo. I zoned for a moment there. Last thing I heard was...tripling the funding still wouldn't make up the deficit," CJ says, glancing at her notes.

Josh smiles and Leo rubs his forehead. "Ok, well, you didn't miss much, but let's break anyway. Josh, see Sam about the meeting with Delphine and call me with an update on the report. CJ, stay a minute?" Leo says, walking back around his desk. "You ok? You've been a little quiet these last couple weeks," Leo says. "Anything I should know?"

CJ smiles at the questions, sure Leo does not really want to know the many things swirling around her head, not just about her life, but about Ellie. "Leo..."

"I don't want to know, do I?" Leo asks with a crooked grin.

"No, I don't really think you do," CJ says with a smile, shaking her head.

"You're ok, though?" He says, still obviously worried.

"Yeah, actually, I'm fine, just a little distracted today, sorry," CJ says, knowing her cheeks are blushing.

Leo grins and shakes his head. "Get out of here."

As she walks back to her office, CJ thinks about how Leo would take it if she was involved in a serious relationship with Kira. Is this Administration ready to deal with an out Press Secretary? Is she ready to be that open with her personal life? Can they survive her *and* Ellie?

"Carol?" CJ calls as she approaches her office.

"Yes? You bellowed?" Carol says, coming out of CJ's office with a smirk.

"How does the rest of my day look? Any chance I can get out of here at a reasonable time?" CJ asks, tossing her briefing book on her desk.

"Your afternoon is pretty full, but assuming that nothing blows up after staff, no reason you couldn't be clear by 7:00 p.m."

"So if I could get staff pushed up I could be clear by 6:00 p.m.?" CJ asks, pursing her lips and thinking.

"Assuming nothing comes up? Yeah," Carol says smiling. "So, am I rearranging anything?"

"No, not yet, but be ready to ditch the last appointment if I can work staff, ok?" CJ asks, already moving around her desk.

"Whatever you say," Carol says, laughing softly as she leaves the office.

CJ reaches for the phone and taps her fingers on the receiver before lifting it and dialing. She listens to the now familiar message and rubs her neck, thinking about the face that goes with the voice. "Hey, it's me again. I thought maybe--"

"Hi," Kira says softly, cutting off CJ's message.

"Hi," CJ says, her voice rising as she lurches in her seat. "Don't hang up, ok?" CJ says, scrambling away from her desk and leaning out her door to tell Carol to hold all calls and push the meeting with Ed and Larry back before she closes the door and walks back over to the desk. "Hey, I didn't think I'd actually get to hear you, I mean...live," CJ says gently.

"Well, I was sitting here, playing your message over and over, and thinking about how frustrating you are. How when you are here and I can touch you, you play coy, play it cool, refuse to let me make love to you, and then... long distance, over the phone, you say you love me?"

CJ can hear the smile on Kira's face and the tears in her tone and there is a tightening in the pit of her stomach. "Does this mean I am forgiven?" CJ asks softly.

There is a moment before Kira responds. "I am so easy with you," Kira whispers with a sigh. "I should make you suffer, make you wonder, but I can't. I want to see you," she says a little louder, her voice slightly rough.

"How about dinner tonight? My place?" CJ asks, knowing that Kira will hear the implicit invitation into her life in the invitation to her apartment.

"Are you sure?" Kira asks softly.

"If I thought I could get out of here, I'd be in a car on the way to you now," CJ says, her voice warm with arousal. "I want to touch you."

"What time?" Kira asks, laughing softly.

"I am going to do my best to get out of here by 6:30, but it may be as late as 8:00. Can I call you when I am heading out?" CJ asks, playing with the pen on her blotter.

"Sure, I don't have to be in until tomorrow night, so...whenever," Kira says, and CJ hears the unasked question in her statement.

"Good, I want to wake up with you," CJ says, hearing Kira's soft sigh.

"Can I bring anything?" Kira asks.

"Anything you'd like, Ace. And something soft and silky might be nice," CJ says with a smile. "Listen, I have to go, but I'll call you later. Love you."

"Love you, too. Can't wait to see you, CJ."

CJ sits at her desk, smiling as she thinks about Kira, specifically Kira all warm and sleepy in her bed. They have been dancing this fine line since the day after Kira's party: having dinner but no kissing, kissing but nothing more, wandering hands but nothing serious, trying hard not to cross any lines until they could be sure, but inching toward everything. Last week they had dinner at Kira's apartment, and then CJ tried to leave. They were leaning against Kira's apartment door, saying a lengthy goodbye, until Kira's hands were cupping CJ's bare breasts and CJ's hand was coaxing Kira toward climax. After, as Kira caught her breath against CJ's shoulder, CJ silently chided herself for letting it get beyond the kissing. They were acting like adolescents, not like two consenting adults who once lived together for more than six years, and who have dated on and off since.

The afternoon is a blur of meetings and briefings, and CJ plans dinner in between, bribing Carol with an extra day off if she will call and arrange delivery of CJ's dry cleaning and have the groceries she wants delivered after 8:00 p.m. Carol raises an eyebrow and smiles a knowing smile as CJ covers her eyes and pleads.

"I know, I know, I am going to so owe you. Please, Carol? This is important," CJ says.

"How important?" Carol asks with a laugh, obviously suddenly curious.

"Carol, please?" CJ asks, looking at her watch.

"Ok, but if things go well tonight, I want details tomorrow, at least if I am going to have to start covering for your love-struck phone calls," Carol says with a pointed and demanding look as CJ buries her smile and blush in her hands.

After her last briefing, she talks Leo into an early staff meeting and manages to escape his office at 6:45 p.m., ignoring her colleagues as they tease her and try to cajole her into a drink when they figure out she has somewhere else to be. As CJ is checking her cell phone voicemail, Josh wanders into her office.

"So, CJ, what's the rush?" Josh asks, flopping down onto her couch as she tosses her briefing book on her desk and checks the written messages stacked near her phone. "Seriously, you've been scattered and secretive all day. Now you are rushing out of here? What's up, hot date?"

CJ turns and glares at Josh, continuing to ignore his antics as Carol gives her the final notes and adjustments for the next day.

"CJ, these can wait," Carol says as she points to her watch and hands CJ the dry cleaning bag off the door.

"Ok, now I know something is up. Carol is picking up your dry cleaning and helping you rush out the door? Who are you seeing tonight?" Josh asks, his eyes narrowing.

Carol and CJ both glare at Josh, and as Carol heads back to her desk, CJ places her hands on her hips, twisting her lips as she thinks about Josh's pestering. "Josh, you remember during our first year in office you pestered me and pestered me about what was bothering me and then when I told you, you completely freaked out?"

"CJ, you told me in graphic detail about something I could have lived my whole life without knowing," Josh says, scrunching up his face.

"You remember the promise you made to me after you stopped banging your head against the table?" CJ asks with a smirk.

"Yeah, I promised that if you ever told me I really didn't want to know something, I would take your word for it," Josh says with trepidation.

"Well, Josh, I think tonight falls into one of those category of things you really don't want to know," CJ says with a grin.

"CJ, is it the doctor? The one at Johns Hopkins?" Josh says with a childish grin.

CJ stops mid-stride to the door and turns. "What...how..." She turns, closes her office door and then takes the seat across from Josh. "What do you think you know?" She asks with a warning tone.

"I heard you and Toby talking the other night, after staff. The door between our offices was open part way," Josh says almost shyly.

"And how much did you hear?" CJ asks softly, looking at her hands.

"Enough to know there is a `she' that you have feelings for who is a doctor at Johns Hopkins and that you and she have history and that you've been seeing her again," Josh says.

CJ closes her eyes and rubs her hand over her face. "And to think I am the one who is always lecturing everyone about talking in this building and closed office doors," CJ says through her hands.

"CJ, it was just me, and I closed my office door so if anyone else was around they wouldn't hear anything," Josh says, touching her hand. "I just wanted you to know that you could talk about it, that we were interested in your life and it wouldn't freak us out. We all know and you shouldn't feel like you have to keep your private life private from us. If you want to, that's fine. But don't feel you have to. And know that I am going to tease you and try to weasel the details regardless."

CJ looks up to see Josh's earnest expression and smiles a small smile, looking at her hands again before looking up and touching his hand. "You can be really sweet sometimes, Josh," CJ says with a crooked grin.

Josh looks at his hands and tilts his head. "When you told us, during the campaign, I kind of freaked out. And I know that I am not good at hiding those things, so I am sure you saw it," Josh says, looking up at her with his eyes but keeping his face tilted down.

CJ shakes her head. "It's ok, Josh."

"No, I wanted you to understand. It wasn't like I had a problem with it or was upset or anything. It's just that...the politician in me had taken over and I wasn't thinking about you, `you the person'. My brain was stuck on our female Press Secretary liking women. I was imagining a press fiasco. I didn't give `you the person,' `you my friend,' a second thought. I just wanted you to know that it wasn't like I had a problem with you," Josh says, his voice showing his obvious discomfort.

"Josh, it's really ok. I knew you were just surprised. Have you been thinking about this all these years?" CJ asks with a disbelieving smile.

"Yeah. I wanted to say something as soon as I realized, but it didn't seem the right time, and after...I just didn't know how to say it," Josh says looking at his hands again.

"So, you want to make it up to me by pestering me about my personal life now?" CJ asks, her voice rising in amusement.

"Well, yes, but what I really want is to meet her," Josh says with a smile. CJ just smiles at him, waiting for the comment she knows he is rolling around his tongue. After a moment his grin widens and she knows he can't hold it in any more. "It would help my fantasies all that much more," Josh says with an evil grin.

"Ok, that's more like you. Get out," CJ says with mock-anger. "I have a dinner to prepare."

"If I refrain from having you beeped tonight, will you at least give me a few details tomorrow? Maybe a description to go with the imagination? Even just hair color would be a step in the right direction."

"Goodnight, Josh," CJ says, grabbing her bag and heading for the door.

She arrives home and has just forty minutes to get ready for Kira. After dinner is started she takes a quick shower and then puts on a long knit heather-grey skirt and cropped black sweater, knowing Kira likes her in skirts. Underneath is a sheer silver bra and panty set which she knows Kira will love in texture and in look. As she dabs on some perfume she hears the doorbell and takes one last look around her room before heading back through the apartment. When she opens the door she smiles at the sight of Kira standing there holding an overnight bag.

"Hi," Kira says with a soft, almost shy smile.

"Hi,"CJ says with an answering grin, stepping back to let her in.

Once inside, Kira leans up to brush a soft kiss across CJ's lips and they linger there, kissing softly for a few moments, more lips and breath than anything else, before CJ ushers her further into the apartment, reaching for her bag in the process.

"So, this is my place. Not nearly as spacious or lived in as yours, but it meets my needs," CJ says, guiding Kira into the livingroom with a hand on the small of her back.

"It is so you," Kira says chuckling. "Understated, elegant, soft, and it smells damn good," Kira says, turning to brush another kiss across CJ's lips.

CJ walks her toward the bedroom, their fingers now entwined. "And this is my bedroom," CJ says with a grin, placing Kira's bag on the end of her bed before turning to Kira watching her.

"Are you actually going to make me wait to hear you say it in person?" Kira asks with a raised eyebrow.

CJ shakes her head and waves her hand between them. "I had this whole soft seduction thing in my head, and then I would tell you I love you when we were wrapped around each other, but when I was such an idiot today...I wanted you to know, just in case," CJ says, stumbling over her words. "I just thought that we should deal with--"

Kira closes the distance between them and grabs CJ's hands. "CJ, say it," she orders, her voice velvet smooth.

"I love you," CJ says softly in a rush, her voice choking on the words. "I never stopped loving you."

"I have loved you since you were nineteen years old," Kira says, pressing closer. "Even when I almost hated you, and what you were doing to me, I always loved you."

"Where do we go from here?" CJ asks, her eyes worried and her hands shaking slightly.

"Well, I think you promised me dinner," Kira says, pushing CJ's hair off her face with gentle fingers. "And later, I hope you will let me make love to you after all these weeks of necking like teenagers," Kira says with a grin.

CJ smiles and nods as her cheeks flush, bending to capture Kira's lips in a deep and soulful kiss. "I've missed you," she whispers as she pulls away.

"Well, remember that, because later when you are begging me you may wonder what exactly it is you see in me," Kira says smugly, running her hands down over CJ's hip to caress her rear through the soft knit. "And I did as you asked," Kira says, starting to walk out of the bedroom. When CJ stares, confused, Kira slides the neck of her sweater aside to show the top of strappy black lingerie trimmed in lace. "Something soft and silky?" Kira asks with a grin. "Now, feed me."

CJ takes her hand as they walk back toward the livingroom and pulls her to her for a deep kiss before letting Kira go and walking into the kitchen. Kira kicks off her shoes and then accepts the glass of red wine CJ hands her before turning to check on dinner.

"So, what are we having?" Kira asks, sipping her wine. "Uummm, this is fabulous. Your Dad's?" Kira asks, taking another appreciative sip of her wine.

CJ turns and nods her head, smiling pridefully. "Yeah, the last of my stash. I am afraid we are back to store-bought brands after this bottle," CJ says. "And we are having seared tuna with mango chutney, rice, marinated asparagus, and fresh tomato salad," CJ says with her talk-show-host voice.

"And dessert?" Kira asks, sliding around the counter and into the kitchen to lean against the counter near CJ.

"White chocolate mousse laced with raspberry brandy," CJ says softly, moving toward Kira.

"Oh, you really did have a seduction scene going in your head. If there are the makings for crepes with apple cider reduction in your fridge, I will know you are serious and meant every word you said today," Kira says, trailing her hands up CJ's arms.

CJ leans forward and brushes a teasing kiss across Kira's mouth before opening the fridge and pointing to the small crystal pitcher filled with sweet syrupy cider. "I reduced it last night thinking I might get you here sometime soon, and there will also be fresh whipped cream if you let me up long enough to whip it," CJ says softly as Kira wraps her arms around CJ's waist, pulling her closer.

Their lips slide together, both slightly parted and teasing, their tongues flitting out to meet before CJ slides her hand into Kira's hair, pulling her closer. CJ's mouth opens over Kira's and her tongue slides into Kira's warm, willing mouth, sweeping fully around before tangling with her tongue. They continue to kiss, shifting depth and angle, and barely pulling away to breath, Kira's hands sliding under the back of CJ' sweater to stroke the soft skin of her back with her finger tips. Kira widens her stance and CJ settles closer against her as CJ's hands slide deeper into Kira's hair, her tongue insistent and controlling. When the refrigerator motor kicks in to counteract the loss of cold from the open refrigerator door, CJ tears her mouth away and looks to the side, the laughter welling up inside her as she kicks it shut with her foot and rubs her face against Kira's shoulder.

"If we are actually going to eat dinner, I need to sear the fish. And somehow I think we are going to need the sustenance," CJ says against Kira's neck, softly nipping her skin as she pulls away slowly.

"Then you better start cooking before we get distracted again," Kira says softly, brushing a soft kiss against CJ's jaw before reaching behind her for her wine. "I'll just be standing here in front of the fridge trying to cool down," she says with a grin.

As CJ finishes dinner, Kira takes a seat at the counter and flips through the latest photo album from CJ's sister.

"Is this `little' Katie?" Kira asks, holding up the picture of a brown haired adolescent.

CJ moves the tuna steaks from the pan to the plates and then leans over to look. "Yeah, that was taken about eight months ago. She looks even older now," CJ says with a grin.

"I can't believe it. I remember when she was born," Kira says, tucking her auburn hair behind her ear. "What is she, fourteen?"

"Almost," CJ says. "And all of a sudden she looks it. Tim is going crazy thinking about guys that remind him of him at that age dating his baby girl."

"And what about everyone else?" Kira asks, flipping through the book.

"Everyone's good. Just growing up, having lives," CJ says, turning toward Kira with two plates. "To the table?"

Kira turns and looks at the table, set with silver and napkins and glasses before turning around with a sweet smile. "I know you set the table, but is there any way I could talk you into the coffee table and floor instead?" Kira asks.

CJ grins at her and shakes her head. "I almost went ahead and set up there. Grab the silver, will you?"

They settle on the floor, half turned toward each other with their backs to the couch as they eat. Half way through dinner CJ gets up to get the wine and as she walks back toward the table she feels her body warm under Kira's appraising stare. She has always done this, unashamedly allow her eyes to wander over CJ's skin, her look showing that she is considering how she will touch her. When Kira's eyes travel past CJ's chest to her face, she blushes and grins openly at being caught.

"You wore that for me, didn't you?" Kira asks, motioning with her fork.

"Maybe?" CJ says, settling back down and refilling their glasses.

"What else did you wear just for me?" Kira asks, pushing her plate away and leaning toward CJ.

CJ takes a deep sip of her wine, rolling it around her mouth before swallowing, putting the glass on the coffee table and leaning forward. "Silvery, sheer, delicate...just your taste."

"You are such a tease," Kira says with a pleased smile, tracing her finger tip up the outside of CJ's thigh.

"No, Kira, I'm not...not intentionally, anyway. I'm not going to pull away tonight," CJ says, slipping her fingers into Kira's hand on her leg. "I want to be with you."

"And?" Kira says, turning her hand so that their fingers slide together, her eyes on their entwined hands.

"I love you," CJ says softly, her voice timid but sure. "And I want you in my life. I want to be a part of your life. I don't want to run from this anymore," CJ says as she shakes her hair off her face, her eyes also focused on their entwined hands, missing Kira looking at her. "I'm just not sure how we make this work this time...so many of the things we fought about before are still--"

Kira's fingers in her hair cut off her words and when CJ looks up, Kira presses a deep and demanding kiss against her mouth. CJ leans into the kiss, tasting the wine Kira just drank lingering on her tongue and feeling Kira's urgency in the kiss. CJ is a talker, and deals in words, but Kira is more comfortable in touch and feel, and has always gone for actions over words.

When CJ is drowning in the sensations and fully leaning against Kira's body, whimpering and submerged, Kira breaks her mouth free and tugs CJ's face to hers. "I love you, and everything else can wait. We can fight over residences, health forms, public displays of affection, children, work habits, future and finances later. Right now, I want to feel you completely at my will. Let me make love to you, Star?" Kira says, starting strong and determined but almost begging by the final question.

"Can we do this? Trust that we can work everything else out when we couldn't before?" CJ asks, her voice soft, her eyes pleading, as she touches Kira's hair.

"I'm willing to trust you if you are willing to trust me. OK?" Kira asks with a warm and reassuring smile.

"I have always trusted you. I don't trust me," CJ says quietly.

"I trust you. Let's go to bed, CJ."

"Dessert later?" CJ asks with a crooked grin, her voice and manner so much more assured as she begins to stand, still holding Kira's hand.

"Desert now, chocolate mousse later," Kira says wickedly, holding CJ's hand as CJ walks around the coffee table and they start toward her bedroom.

Kira lets go of CJ's hand as they cross into the hallway and steps behind her, her fingers gently resting on CJ's back as they walk, urging her forward. "I love the way you move," Kira says, laughing as they step into CJ's bedroom.

"If memory serves me correctly, you like it better when I'm naked," CJ says, turning and backing into the room, tugging at Kira's hand once again. CJ notices the predatory gleam in Kira's eyes and the way her body is moving with swagger and assurance, and takes a deep breath to calm her raging nerves.

Kira pulls roughly on CJ's hand, pulling her against her body, stepping up slightly to bridge the four inch difference in their height. "You are out there everyday playing the bad-ass, ruling the press room, helping to run this country, shouting down very powerful men, generally being all butch and tough. And here, with me, you get all nervous, feel all anxious and unsure, when this is the room you command better than any other one you could be in," Kira says, gently tucking CJ's hair behind her ear. "God, you're sexy," she continues with a knowing smile as she slides her hands down over CJ's shoulders to gently touch the swells of her breasts before moving lower to touch the soft skin of CJ's stomach just under the hem of her sweater.

CJ's breath quickens and she ducks her head, leaning toward Kira as Kira's hands slide higher to trace the lower edge of her bra. "For someone who always claims to be language-challenged, you sure pull it out under pressure," CJ says as she closes the distance and captures Kira's lips in a shallow and teasing kiss. "I love the way you taste," she says in a husky tone as Kira slides the sweater up and over CJ's head.

Kira drops the sweater without taking her eyes of CJ's breasts, and as she looks at her, her mouth twisting into a devilish smile, CJ feels her nipples tighten. Her knees tremble slightly at the knowledge that even after all this time, Kira can make her body react just by looking at her.

"Very nice," Kira says as she reaches out and gently traces the pattern of CJ's bra and then swirls her fingers around CJ's tight nipple through the silvery, smooth fabric. "Oh, yeah...very nice."

When Kira moves to palm CJ's right breast, CJ whimpers and leans forward forcing her breast fully into Kira's hand and causing her hair to fall forward, the ends tangling in Kira's wavy hair framing her face. "You're killing me here, Ace," CJ says, gasping as Kira uses her other hand to cup her other breast and gently massages their weight in her palms, CJ's nipples pressing hard against the palms of her hands. "Please," CJ rasps.

Kira abruptly slides her hands down CJ's body to push her skirt down over CJ's hips, gently touching the matching silver fabric covering CJ's sex. CJ shimmies her skirt the rest of the way off as Kira tugs her own sweater over her head and tosses it to the floor, revealing a silky black camisole draping over her full breasts, her nipples visible and pointed. When Kira slides her pants down her legs, CJ bites her lip, taking in the rounded hint of her hips and abdomen under tap pants which match the camisole. Kira stands there, her hands on her hips as CJ looks over her, nodding in appreciation.

Without words, they move against each other again, their arms sliding around each other's bodies with the sure touch and intimate knowledge of long time lovers, as their lips blend and part for a deep and consuming kiss. CJ's hands chart the soft curves of Kira's hips and rear, pausing to gently squeeze her soft flesh before tugging the tap pants down over her hips and pushing them down with her foot as Kira moves to unhook CJ's bra. They lean back and smile openly as they look at each other's bodies, CJ's hand dipping to brush against Kira's curls, tease at her folds, as Kira bends and takes CJ's right breast fully into her mouth, sweeping her tongue around CJ's nipple and aureola before pulling back to suck softly at her nipple. CJ slides one hand into Kira's hair, holding her mouth against her breast as she suckles, while she slides her other hand under Kira's camisole to gently massage Kira's left breast, smiling at the fullness in her hand.

After several minutes of gentle teasing and open mouthed kisses pressed against shoulders, breasts, bellies and thighs, both their breasts damps from eager lips and tongues, nipples hard and sensitive, Kira pushes CJ back onto her bed, tearing at the comforters under her lover's body. CJ helps her push the comforter and top sheet away, lifting her hips to get the comforter out from under her rear and unwittingly opening herself up to Kira's eager mouth. As CJ is still looking to move the sheet out from under her, Kira leans down and presses a soft, closed mouth kiss against CJ's curls, pressing her advantage to part her folds and slide her tongue in lavish sweeps and teasing strokes before pushing deep inside CJ's already eager body. CJ arches back onto the bed and lowers her head back, reaching down to slide her fingers into Kira's hair as she begins to gently suck at CJ's clit.

"Oh, God...Ace, please, yeah...shit, God, I need you," CJ rasps as Kira continues to suck at her. When Kira slides two fingers deep inside her, CJ grabs the comforter for support and pushes forward, groaning out a pleading sound, her body taught in anticipation. Kira continues to twist and thrust her fingers in a deceptively gentle rhythm as she lifts her face to watch CJ struggle to prolong the ecstacy while her body fights for release.

"That's it, fight it, CJ...make it last all the longer," Kira laughs as she leans forward to blow a warm breath across CJ's heated, tense abdomen, and then lower over CJ's clit, laughing again as CJ pushed her hips higher again, so close to release. When Kira slides a third finger in and turns her fingers to press upward, CJ comes in a shattering cry, and Kira uses her free hand to push against CJ's thigh and then gently teases at her sensitive clit with just her lips to prolong the waves washing over her lover. Kira slides her fingers out and replaces them with her tongue as she pushes CJ's thighs wide and sucks softly to taste CJ's release.

As CJ's breathing begins to slow and her thighs relax, she slides her fingers into Kira's hair, fanned out across CJ's hip and thigh, to urge Kira up to her. Kira trails up CJ's body dropping soft kisses, stopping to suck at her left breast for a moment before releasing the sensitive peak, and sliding fully against CJ's side, her hand on CJ's abdomen and her lips at CJ's neck. CJ turns her face and nuzzles against Kira's hair, her hand at Kira's neck. When Kira lifts her face CJ finds her lips without opening her eyes, and immediately sucks Kira's tongue into her mouth, swallowing Kira's moans and the taste of her sex on Kira's lips and tongue.

"You look so wanton right now," Kira says a few minutes later, trailing her fingers down over CJ's ribs, looking at CJ's still flushed skin and the marks from Kira's mouth on the inside of her thighs, breast, and neck. "I love how your fair skin flushes over in embarrassment and arousal," she says, tracing the crease where the lower swell of CJ's breast meets her ribs.

CJ rolls to her side, pulling Kira fully against her and both of them to the center of the bed. As they kiss once again, teasing tongues and sighs, CJ lifts Kira's leg over her hip to open her to CJ's touch. CJ pulls her lips back as she slides her fingers between Kira's curls, teasing gently at her clit, feeling her arousal and need, and coaxing her to open wider by stroking her inner folds. When Kira tips her head back and moves her leg a little higher, pulling CJ toward her so that she is leaning back, CJ slips one finger into Kira's warmth, gently stroking her in round and shallow strokes. When Kira's lips quiver slightly, CJ slides in a second finger and reaches deep, twisting and turning and massaging that place within her that makes her tighten and beg.

"Please, oh, God, Star, don't tease, please... make me come," Kira begs, rolling further onto her back and pulling CJ with her so that her leg is resting on CJ's body, just above her hip as CJ adds a third finger and begins pumping harder and faster into her body, her lips now sucking at Kira's neck as she whispers encouragement.

"You feel so good, warm and wet and tight...let yourself come. Come on Kira, baby, come for me," CJ coaxes, nipping at her shoulder and neck as she vibrates her thumb against Kira's clit and thrusts her fingers deep. Kira comes, arching up against CJ's body and calling her name, her real name: Kira calls her Claudia in orgasm.

CJ pulls Kira into her arms, stroking her back and hip as Kira nuzzles against her breasts and shoulder, brushing soft kisses as she whispers her praise. When Kira lifts her face and smiles up at CJ, their lips meet in an almost innocent kiss before Kira pulls up and closer to deepen the kiss. They touch and stroke each other as they kiss and talk and then tangle their legs as they rock against each other's thighs until another gentle wave of release washes over them together.

CJ slips out from under Kira and crawls over her to climb out of the bed on the side closer to the door. "Where are you going?" Kira asks with a soft laugh.

"I know you," CJ says as she leans over to brush a gentle kiss across Kira's lips, "in about fifteen minutes you are going to want that mousse sitting in my refrigerator, probably just as I am getting warm and sleepy. So I am going to get it now."

Kira rolls onto her back and laughs out loud, covering her eyes with her hand as CJ walks down the hall. "This is love. Love means never having to say you're hungry."

When CJ returns to the room with a glass dish of mousse dressed with a drizzle of the raspberry brandy, Kira is lying on her stomach her face pressed against the small crocheted blanket CJ keeps in her bed with her. CJ stops in the doorway to admire the gentle slope of Kira's back and rear, her skin almost gleaming in the dim light of the bedroom.

"What are you doing?" CJ asks softly as she slides back into bed and Kira turns but continues to hold the blanket near her face.

"I love this thing. It always smells like you. Can I have it for when we can't be together?" Kira asks with the earnestness of a small child.

CJ laughs softly as she puts the mousse on the night stand and leans down to kiss Kira again. "Of course, as much as I will miss clutching it to me in sleep, I can't deny you anything when you ask like that," CJ says.

"Then how about having a baby with me," Kira says, her eyes dancing mischievously.

CJ groans and falls back on her back. "Not yet, please, Kira. Let's at least save the baby debate until after the moving in together and changing our emergency contacts and powers of attorney negotiations, ok?"

Kira leans over and brushes CJ's hair off her face. "I think I am wearing you down. And I don't need to change my emergency contact information and power of attorney," Kira says softly, "I already did, a while ago."

CJ opens her eyes and mirrors Kira's action by brushing Kira's hair off her face. She holds Kira's look for a moment and then shakes her head softly, her eyes damp. "You are too much. I do, but only because I changed them when we entered the White House to senior staff, as all the unmarried staff did, to prevent delay and scandal. I will change them back as soon as I can," CJ says seriously.

"I love you," Kira says in a barely audible whisper.

"I always have," CJ replies as she pulls Kira to her and kisses her deeply.

~TBC~


End file.
